Married dad-of-three Virenderpal Singh Dhanota (Ladi) was 62 when he died at LOROS Hospice in January last year. His wife Neelam says that LOROS was a huge support during such a traumatic time in her life.
“On 4th November 2007, my husband was at the gym with his friend when he suddenly became unwell and suffered a seizure. It was so bad, he was paralysed down his right side.
“The doctor thought he'd had a stroke because he is diabetic, so they sent him for a CT scan to find out. Following two scans, the doctors were certain it wasn’t a stroke so my husband had an MRI scan.
“We were then sent to the Queens Medical Centre in Nottingham, and at that point I could tell something was very wrong. We were told that he had a brain tumour. It was heart breaking, I was absolutely devastated,” added Neelam.
Ladi, grandfather-of-five, owned his own business in Leicester and had always been physically active.
“My husband was always so fit and healthy, he was a panel beater and sprayer and would regularly take our Siberian husky, JD, on walks. He was so friendly and bubbly, he’d do anything for anyone.”
Following the diagnosis, Ladi remained settled and the family continued a normal routine at home. However, following an uneventful four years, Ladi took a turn for the worse.
“For four years my husband was stable, and on 9th November 2011 he had surgery. It went well and we felt really positive.
“Shortly after my husband’s surgery, my dad died in India and we flew there for his funeral. When we got home, my husband had his second seizure.
“We flew home as soon as we could and we went to see my husband’s surgeon at the QMC. When we arrived he didn’t seem too worried, we were told it was normal.
“Then, my husband started fitting on a regular basis, which meant he needed further surgery. “About 60-70% of his tumour was removed in order to prolong his life.
“In 2014 my husband ended up in a coma for around three weeks, he deteriorated rapidly and lost all control over the side of his body. We were told nothing more could be done for him and we had carers at home that helped us.
“Our world had been shattered. Every moment my husband was dying, and I felt like I was dying with him.”
Ladi was admitted to LOROS on 6th October 2016 and Neelam says going back to LOROS evoked memories of Ladi’s dad who was at LOROS ten years before.
“I tried to mentally prepare myself, but no amount of preparation helps when reality hits.
“Thankfully the staff at LOROS were so reassuring and welcoming, it didn’t take long for my nerves to settle. The doctors and nurses who took care of my husband were like family to me.
“LOROS Hospice look after the whole family, not just the patient. JD always slept at Ladi’s feet, he went to the Hospice many times and would sit with my husband which was comforting.
Ladi died at the Hospice on 23rd January 2017.
“When my husband died, I felt numb. I called my children and family to tell them what had happened and I remained calm. LOROS gave me strength.
“JD refused to go into our bedroom for seven months, it was heart breaking. I think he was waiting for Ladi to come home.”
“LOROS is a dignified and respectful place where people can die peacefully. I miss him every second of every day. If I won the lottery, I would build another LOROS.
“We married on 5th February 1978, and I scattered my husband’s ashes into the River Soar on 5th February 2017. I ended my journey with him on the same day we started it."